The Next You

Thoughts from a Friday evening past:

I miss you. I'm not even sure if it's actually you that I miss, or just someone. Someone to hold me at night when the phantoms of my dreams are closer than the darkness that surround me. Someone to hold me when dusk creeps in on the day and the cares settle upon my shoulders in a heavy sigh.

I guess I'm not even sure who you are. So many different memories and feelings, each a different stage of love, flash through my mind. All with the same reflective yearn to want to return to what was. But they're each fleeting, never lasting long enough to bring tears. There is always a final thought that the next you will be better than you.  That the next you will fill up all the cracks and empty places that you left. Fill them up fuller than you could have or tried to, and there won't be any lack or desire for more. it will be just right; enough. And I'll have that happy fear that I could love someone so much that my heart would swell so large in my chest and that I would never lose it. I lost it once before, but the next you won't leave like you did.

I miss you. The next you. Whoever you are. I miss you because I know what can and will happen and I want to give that to you. I want to give it all and not have to wait any longer.

Zion

A handful of my friends and I went down to Zion a couple weekends ago to hike the West Rim trail. We stayed in my friend Dane's family's cabin up by Kolob Resevoir. We got in late Friday night and while half of us drove down to leave a car in Zion the other half of us stayed at the cabin building a fire and eating s'mores. What was suppose to be only an hour and a half trip turned into 3 hours and by the time everyone got back we were really worried and really tired. But of course the 4 of us girls stayed up late talking before heading to bed :)

We got up early Saturday, drove out to Lava Point and then began our 18 mile hike. It was beautiful. There were moments where I could not describe the scenery; there is no other place like it in the whole world. Thankfully we have all shared our photos with each other so here ya go!

Cedar City on the way up to Kolob. You could see the entire Valley!

Sunrise

If you look closely you can see me peeking through the top window

Before we started the hike

This was most of what the beginning of the hike looked like- lots of green

The first great view we got. This is the entire backside of Zion National Park

(click it to see it full size...so pretty!)

We had a lot of fun telling and solving riddles as we marched on

Stumbled upon this guy at the beginning of the trail. He barely moved as we inched past

Once we got out of the wooded, green area we hit this beautiful sight. Breath taking moment, spurred on by the idea that even mountains bleed

Part of the "down" climb (no wonder my ankles hurt afterwards)

And this is what most of the end of the hike looked like - white rock (and very very hot!)

Back up again, Angels Landing is to the far right

The river that saved us all from heat exhaustion after hiking for 6 1/2 hours, ascending 2000 feet, descending 4000 feet, and running out of water for the last few miles

Ate dinner in Hurricane as Los Lupitas with Rachie and Brad. I should have gotten a picture but we were all famished and sweaty and gross.

Just hanging out on the back of the truck on the bumpy ride up to the look out point for sunset

You can't really see it but all of Kolob and Zion is behind us

Sunrise, on Sunday morning

Nothing Good Gets Away

I'm sure some of you have already seen this, but I loved it too much to not share...


In November of 1958, John Steinbeck — the renowned author of, most notably, The Grapes of Wrath, East of Eden, and Of Mice and Men — received a letter from his eldest son, Thom, who was attending boarding school. In it, the teenager spoke of Susan, a young girl with whom he believed he had fallen in love.


New York
November 10, 1958


Dear Thom:


We had your letter this morning. I will answer it from my point of view and of course Elaine will from hers.
First—if you are in love—that’s a good thing—that’s about the best thing that can happen to anyone. Don’t let anyone make it small or light to you.
Second—There are several kinds of love. One is a selfish, mean, grasping, egotistical thing which uses love for self-importance. This is the ugly and crippling kind. The other is an outpouring of everything good in you—of kindness and consideration and respect—not only the social respect of manners but the greater respect which is recognition of another person as unique and valuable. The first kind can make you sick and small and weak but the second can release in you strength, and courage and goodness and even wisdom you didn’t know you had.
You say this is not puppy love. If you feel so deeply—of course it isn’t puppy love.
But I don’t think you were asking me what you feel. You know better than anyone. What you wanted me to help you with is what to do about it—and that I can tell you.
Glory in it for one thing and be very glad and grateful for it.
The object of love is the best and most beautiful. Try to live up to it.
If you love someone—there is no possible harm in saying so—only you must remember that some people are very shy and sometimes the saying must take that shyness into consideration.
Girls have a way of knowing or feeling what you feel, but they usually like to hear it also.
It sometimes happens that what you feel is not returned for one reason or another—but that does not make your feeling less valuable and good.
Lastly, I know your feeling because I have it and I’m glad you have it.
We will be glad to meet Susan. She will be very welcome. But Elaine will make all such arrangements because that is her province and she will be very glad to. She knows about love too and maybe she can give you more help than I can.
And don’t worry about losing. If it is right, it happens—The main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away.
Love,
Fa