Historic Provo Tabernacle

 

 The historic Provo Tabernacle burned down this morning. It's crazy to think that I was just there a few weeks ago for a special regional conference, sitting just feet away from the beautiful pipe organ, amazed at the gorgeous architect. I remember driving down University Ave and always thinking that I wanted my house to "look like that." They are still unsure of what caused the fire, but after the roof collapsed in around 6am they knew the chances of saving it were extremely slim (Full story on ksl).

I've never felt so nostalgic over something like this. Is it odd to say that I really hope it wasn't arson? We've had enough church buildings vandalized, please not this one too. I am interested to see what the church decides to do with it, especially if they decide to rebuild and what the new building will look like. Gosh, sorry I'm still so in shock, all that history just gone...thankfully it was just a symbol. Everyone will always have their memories and stories. I'm glad I was able to attend regional conference there even if it was just once so that I could see how beautiful it was on the inside too.

Bleeding Blue

First football game of the season

I weaseled my way into going to one of the Cougars' games with my roommates Ashley and Kaycie. It was hot, we had seats waaaaay high up and I of course, forgot my sunglasses. We lost, no biggie. I only go to BYU games for the social anymore. The highlight of the whole game may have been walking home, which took over a half hour since our house and the stadium are on opposite sides of campus.

Half way home!

By far the best moment- taking this picture. That or when Kaycie fell asleep during the game :)

One time...

One time this summer my friends and I took a really cool picture

PS, you know how I'm wearing that blue bandana? Yeah I almost got jumped for wearing it on the strip. Good thing we were almost to the car and we had Parker with us. I'm serious! This guy walked up all in my face and said "Yeah! You wear dat blue boy!" (or something like that) I thought he had been talking to Parker since I am clearly not a boy, but nope he meant me. Great for all I know I probably flashed him some gang sign or something

You may have to reteach me

Been so long since I've written a school paper that I forgot how to go about double spacing my document

Planners & Calendars

When I was home last year I saw my mom's calendar and I thought it was ingenius- it had about five columns for each day so you could have each person have their own section or split subjects up. I am now completely in love with their planners, it's easy to separate classes and work schedules but they're all still there in one place. Plus it has a bunch of to-do lists to rip out and all theses other cool features.

Check it out here

Background?

Also, I cannot figure out whether these picture backgrounds work or not. Suggestions? I tend to just read everyone's blogs on Google Reader so the background never affects me, but if it's too hard to read mine I'd like to know. Although the picture is pretty cool

Piped Sweets- Wedding #2

Just a little sneak peek at the wedding that my sister's new business Piped Sweets did...

More to come.

Moving Day

I spy... Amelia's bed

somewhere...

Adeline's 2nd Birthday

Sunburn Remedy

 

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The best sunburn remedy ever.

I got a decently bad sunburn last Thursday from hanging around the pool. I had heard that vinegar compresses help take the sting away but I was determined to find something that lasted a bit longer and worked better. So I googled sunburn remedies and found that if you take a bath with Apple Cider Vinegar it takes the sting away and also prevents peeling. I was a bit skeptical but thought I'd try it any. All you do is add 2 cups (or one bottle) of Apple Cider Vinegar to a lukewarm bath and soak for 15 minutes (or 30, depending upon how tough you are). PS lukewarm baths are no fun at all, and even though the water feels good pouring in, after 15 minutes it's pretty cold.

Since taking that bath Thursday night (the night of getting the sunburn) I have applied aloe vera on my burnt areas quite liberally and at least 3 times a day. It's not the Monday following and my neck, back of my legs and face are all just about healed and into tan mode. My back had the worst of it and the only problem is that it itches something fierce (which means it's healing). But the only thing that has peeled was my face and that's only because I didn't go under in the vinegar bath.

I'm really impressed actually that it worked. So if you're looking for a quick fix with the sunburns take a vinegar bath. The burns will still hurt a bit in the following days but they'll heal quicker and won't peel or flake.

Abstract enough?

I had some time on my hands a few weeks back so I pulled out my paints and brushes and tried some painting.

I wanted to see if I could do a decent abstract piece and ended up with this-

Abstract art is weird. That's all I can say about it. I'm not sure I'm entirely good at it either.

Facing Jane Austen

Reading Jane Austen's novels has always been a daunting task to me. Like just about every other girl on the planet I have been deeply in love with the films since I first started watching them, and as I have grown up more and can understand and relate to more of the subject matter I can safely say that I still hold that opinion today. After receiving her complete works for Christmas I finally caved into my fears and started to read Sense and Sensibility. I truly thought that i would not enjoy the book as well as I did the movie, but I was mistaken. I could barely put it down after starting it. I am starting Pride and Prejudice soon, if I can find time to read it amongst my geology class, work, and all those free nights I have from a lack of social life. I'm so booked I just don't think I could possibly find time to :)

PS For those of you who love the movies you should definitely see the BBC version of Sense and Sensibility. I still love the original with Emma Thompson and Kate Winslet, but the BBC version is definitely my favorite now.

Words are feelings put to use

Tonight Tara and I attempted to have a sleepover in our front room. We dragged our mattresses out and everything only to discover that the movie we had hopes of watching was possessed and refused to cooperate in any of our 3 computers and our DVD player. So we ran out to a Redbox, stopped by Smith's (well drove by because there was a major drug bust or someone found a bomb because there were a dozen cop cars in the parking lot and the whole place was sectioned off) and finally got home to watch Fame.

I liked it. A bit depressing in some parts but on the whole... really inspiring. In an odd way. I sometimes desperately wish that I could get up on a stage and just belt some beautiful song out and wow everyone. Or that any time I got onto the piano I could play a little Bach or Chopin. Wonderfully enough that people would close their eyes the same way I do when my little sisters get on their violins and cello. I am now determined to get back to practicing the piano more often. This will become much easier when I move into my new place in the fall which will have a piano :) And when I have the time I would love to take voice lessons. That will definitely be something I need to wait on but I am determined to do it.

Aside from all of that, I just want to do something I love with my life. I want to write. It's scary sometimes to think about how writing can't really support a family, let alone one person. And how once I start having a family I won't really have time to sit and write amidst all the things that comes with being a parent and a wife. But I determined to succeed, to find those precious moments where my mind wanders into far off places and damsels in distress are saved and the hero always gets the girl (well... maybe).

Just because becoming an author is a long and hard road doesn't dissuade me from wanting to at least try. I really have no idea why I'm still typing. It's kind of late and my thoughts are more than just sporadic, they're hopeless. They've become paper butterflies fluttering off my page, flitting away into the night sky to become stars up in the heavens of dreams. Good night

somewhere i have never travelled, gladly beyond
~E.E. Cummings
somewhere i have never travelled, gladly beyond any experience, your eyes have their silence: in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me, or which i cannot touch because they are too near your slightest look easily will unclose me though i have closed myself as fingers, you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens (touching skilfully,mysteriously)her first rose or if your wish be to close me, i and my life will shut very beautifully, suddenly, as when the heart of this flower imagines the snow carefully everywhere descending; nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals the power of your intense fragility: whose texture compels me with the color of its countries, rendering death and forever with each breathing (i do not know what it is about you that closes and opens;only something in me understands the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses) nobody, not even the rain, has such small hands

(This was originally written last night around 1:30am)- I know I say this all the time, but there is truly something amazing about music and how it can describe things. Crazy how someone can write a song that explains exactly how you feel about someone or think about something, especially when you've never met the person who wrote the lyrics. We've all been through things that are so similar and yet so different but music brings us closer to one another in a way that some things, that most things just can't.

Tonight's song:

"Near to You," by A Fine Frenzy

Update Part 3

What I've been listening to, reading, and watching:

I've hardly been to the theaters lately, but when I do go it's either to the dollar theater or someone else is paying for my ticket :) A couple films I have seen within the last 4 months that I absolutely love and highly recommend are:

• Sherlock Holmes
• Young Victoria (a definite chick flick but I loved it!)
• Coco Before Chanel (a French film, and oddly enough it put a lot of past relationships into perspective for me)
• Avatar (I might have teared up at one point)
• The Boys are Back (watched this just the other night and I did cry. It was so interesting to watch these three boys' journeys in figuring out life without women- mother and wife)
• 500 Days of Summer (I know it came out a while ago, but I've watched it so many times that I still feel lie it's brand new. It continues to remind me what not to do in a relationship and to view the situation from the other person's point of view. It has also made me realize how we need to be honest in not only our words but also in our actions with others)

I've discovered some fun artists through Pandora and of course I'm still downloading from Urban Outfitters. Which I can now do every Monday with their Music Mondays. But here are a couple of my more recent favorite songs/artists:

"Home"

"Yalira"

Phoenix

Ray LaMontagne

Drew Danburry

"Kids" & "Electric Feel" ~ MGMT

I, unfortunately, haven't been reading a whole lot, besides all those church talks mentioned in Part 2. But I did manage to get through a Christmas present the other week: After the Dancing Days. I remember always seeing the book on our shelf at home but never actually reading it. It was so nice to have the time to sit and read an actual novel/book for once without it being a textbook. I forgot how fun it is to curl up on my bed with the sun streaming through the window and to just get lost in a completely different world. Imagining what it would be like if I was actually there. My time has just been consumed with talks by the brethren lately haha which isn't a bad thing, don't get me wrong, but I would still love to get through all of Jane Austen one of these days.

Ode to Love

Love is something I will never understand. How it is possible to have your heart split and shared with so many different individuals. How love can be defined in thousand of ways. And how there are some you will always love no matter what choices they make in life, no matter how poorly they treat you, and no matter how long you stay connected.

I hate love. I hate how it can smother you like kisses from grandparents, lift you onto clouds like sweethearts, and how it can completely crush you to your knees in absolute agony. Love has no limits, no rules, and no boundaries. Once you succumb to its flattery you are done for. You lose the ability to think clearly and to make decisions without any bias. You find yourself making excuses, defending people who you would give the whole world to make them happy but who would never do the same for you in return. Love will never let you go. We fall in love with boyfriends and girlfriends and once they leave us or we walk away that part of our hearts stays with them. Even if we try so desperately to fill that void with another's love, that small crack, that gaping hole will never be completely full again. Because someone out there, mayhap we have forgotten whom, but someone out there still has a bit of us with them that follows them about like a shadow, that still keeps a prayer that they are happy and truly finding joy in their own lives.

Love pulls, love tugs, love yanks, and prods. It comforts, and kisses, caresses, and soothes. Love spoils, love indulges, love obsesses, and aches. It yearns, and hurts. It cries, and smiles, it skips and crumbles. Love can begin foolishly with giddiness and excitement. Mystery and hope. And end tragically with sorrow and pain. Misery and anger. Love begins on one side and ends on the other. You cannot toy with it, play games or cheat it. It will always know the truth. It is one thing we cannot fake or deceive with. You either do or you don't. There is no in between.

Love is the ultimate sacrifice. To forget one's self for the sake of others. To let yourself go entirely just because your mind is plagued with someone else. So love. Let go, take the risk and do it. You will have these moments at 1, 2... 3 in the morning when all hope is lost and you have finally walked away for the last time. Moments where you find yourself in the depths of despair and your whole being is racked with such agony. But there will be other moments when the sun has never shone so brightly. Where colors have never seemed so vibrant and life has never been so enjoyable. These moments will outweigh the first by such degrees that in the end you will never look back and regret once for letting yourself jump in. Risk it. Do it, and if there is a next time... Risk it again, and do it better.

Here's to the Rebels

Two of my favorite quotes are by the author Jack Kerouac, and I thought I would just share them with you...

"The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing but burn, burn, burn like fabulous roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes 'Awww'"

— Jack Kerouac (On the Road)

 "Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round heads in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules and they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify them, or vilify them. But the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do."
— Jack Kerouac

Update Part 2

What I've been learning:
I have an attachment to Google Reader, it keeps me updated with everyone's blogs that I follow and the other day i discovered this little gem, literally. I subscribed to the Young Single Adult Gems and every Monday and Wednesday I get a new quote and if it tugs at my spirit or hits me hard in the core I look up the talk and read it. Most of the time I am sitting here copying and pasting them into a Word document. It reminds me of the talk given by Elder Holland about how we need to use the internet for good, and I'm not saying that Google Reader is bad, but it definitely keeps me from maybe reading other things that are more important and beneficial, so when I found this on LDS.org I was pretty giddy. Now I can read the gossip or friends and also keep up to date on some really amazing talks that I have overlooked over the years.

My roommate and friend Lisa and I started reading a talk a week last semester and sharing what we had learned from them with each other through email. Since then I had conceived an obsession with church talks. Whenever I get the chance I'm printing a new one off and highlighting it until it looks like an Easter painting. After a while I realized I had a large stack of talks but I could not remember what most of them talked about, little of what I learned from them. So I started to read them again, this time with my journal in hand, and I really studied them. A few of the talks that really hit home for me were:

• To Be Free of Heavy Burdens ~ Elder Richard G. Scott
• Your Refined Heavenly Home ~ Elder Douglas L. Callister
• Cast Not Away Therefore Your Confidence ~ Elder Holland
• The Atonement: Our Greatest Hope ~ Elder James E. Faust
• Point of Safe Return ~ Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf
• Feed My Sheep ~ Elder Ned B. Roueche
• Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ ~ Elder Kevin Pearson

Like I said... I really have been consumed with reading them. I don't want to spew out a bunch of quotes or excerpts from each one, rather I'd like to focus on the one talk that I learned the most from recently and that was the last I listed, by Elder Pearson. I have already shared these thoughts with my family via email but I feel the need to put them here:

It was a hard talk to read because I am basically where Elder Pearson says we should not be. He speaks of 6 D's: doubt, discouragement, distraction, lack of diligence, disobedience, and disbelief. I won't explain each of them because I think you should read the talk, but I realized that I have started down that path. Doubt comes from a lack of confidence in one's self or abilities. I may come across as a confident person but sometimes I feel like that is just a facade; I have my bad days like everyone else and sometimes I feel inadequate. This doubt leads to discouragement, and chronic discouragement leads to lower expectations, decreased effort, weakened desire, and greater difficulty feeling and following the Spirit. Discouragement leads to distraction (lack of focus), etc. Anyway, I have been so discouraged lately with trying to do what the Lord has asked me to do, which at the time was to move home for the semester. Try as I might, something has continued to prevent me from getting there. Whether it's selling my contract, or not finding a job anywhere (and I finally did find a job up  here). But I know that isn't all entirely true, because I haven't been trying as hard as I can. I've been distracted by so many other things.

It is frustrating but at the same time it is a wake up call. I realized so greatly that I am not being blessed or helped entirely because I have not kept my end of the bargain with my Heavenly Father, I have not been completely obedient, especially in the "small and simple things" that Elder Pearson says we must be obedient in. I have allowed myself to become lax and lazy about everything. It's cheesy but there are so many times when I day dream about being good at all of these things- waking up and reading my scriptures, saying my prayers, going to the temple weekly, etc, and how desirable those qualities are. How people would respect me more and look up to me more if I did these things. Since reading his talk I have tried so desperately to fall down that path again. I am not 100% back to reading my scriptures and saying my prayers, but I have been doing other things, reading my Patriarchal blessing once or twice a week, studying a talk, and really trying to participate in church (the more I do, the more I find I learn). And as I slowly do each other these, the more I am drawn to doing all the other things that I need to be doing, most importantly serving others and losing myself in those acts.

Part 1

To sleep

Have you ever wondered, as you lay in bed, about the shadow of sleep?  Thought about how every room, every apartment, every house around you has shut out its lights and every soul within them has laid themselves down to sleep? It doesn't matter whether they are in their beds or passed out on a couch, just the thought that they are all lost to the conscious world. That the TV has been turned off, the computer closed, the front doors locked, and the lights hushed. Silence has enveloped the world about us, leaving nothing but whispers and sighs of drowsiness. In only a few hours beeping and vibrating will awaken all these aching bodies. Birds will sing and cars will roar. And no one will be able to hear the distant trains carrying their ghost cargo. We all lie here in our beds, lost to worry and stress except for that which pervades our dreams and causes us to toss and turn. We lie here, unified in the idea that despite the craziness of life sooner or later one must lay their body down and rest. We lie here under our blankets and sheets, with our comforters of both fabric and loved ones' grasps. We lie here, content to let go and breathe peace. To allow the earth to rest our heads, our thoughts, and our hearts. To sleep.

"An update of my life," in four parts

I've been meaning to give a big update for some time now but have just been lazy about it. For some reason sitting down and writing and being clever and witty takes more effort than I wish I had to put in to it. Oh well, because I really do enjoy doing it once I get around to it. So I am finally going to update everyone and focus on these things:

1. What I have been up to (school & work wise)
2. What I have been learning
3. What I've been listening to, reading, and watching
4. What I've been up to with friends, family and the oddities

Of course I can't just sit down and do all four acts in one sitting/night, so I will focus on each one respectively and hopefully have a good and balanced update by the end of the week. I'll start with number one, which randomly enough I am really excited to talk about.

What I have been up to (school and work wise):

As of Thanksgiving I am no longer working at Fastsigns. Wasn't really part of the plan, but time to move on and find something new. Don't worry, it only took me 2 months to find a new job. It has been quite the adventure, scratch that, quite the nightmare but fate smiled upon me last week through a phone call from my visiting teacher who just got a job at the subway/grocery mart opening up behind our place.  She told me that there were still 3 openings left and gave me her boss' number. So even though I once upon a time swore never to work in food again, I am returning to it because of the absolute desperation and need for not only the cash but the longing of feeling productive and needed. I start sometime this week, not quite sure when, but I do get my uniform tomorrow. Horray. And because Fern and Josh did a major closet detox I now have 2 pairs of black pants and a pair of khakis to wear to work. Let's just pray that I still look good in a hat and polo.

The last few weeks I have been doing a bucketful of genealogy work for me pops though. And by genealogy work I mean scanning family photos, some of which date back to the Civil War. I have been drinking in the moments of flipping through the memoirs and souvenirs of my Grammie's life and reliving the elegance of life in Pennsylvania in the 1900's. My father's mother, Margaret Dixon Stroud aka Peggy, grew up back east. Back when they named their estates, had nannies and personal nurses, went away to ladies' schools, and went on "trips abroad." My grammie's family owned an antique shop, but after marrying my grandfather Nathaniel Wallace, Peggy moved to a ranch outside of Reno with him and their growing family. I won't give you a family history lesson, sorry, I really just wanted to share the excitement I have had in looking at these photos, reading letters and just getting to a know a well-standing family, that is mine. One thing I found really cool was this:

Elise Croft born in 1894 in Nashville Tennessee, pictured here in the year 1978. Elise was a friend of Peggy's who went out with her brother Morris Stroud III for a visit to Nashville in August, I believe, of 1978. It was Elise's home that really caught my attention, however. How could I not be interested in it after looking at this photo:

It's gorgeous. The end. I did what any other 21st century kid would do, I googled the Croft home of Nashville and to my hope, I found something (yes click on the word something). For those of you not too eager to click and read, here's a brief synopsis- the Croft home is now a Historical Home at the Nashville Zoo. Can you imagine walking through there during a tour and just thinking "My grammie was here 30 years ago, on this porch. Oh yeah and she was friends with the woman who owned it!" Yes I'm bragging just a little bit. It really has been an unbelievable treat to get a peek into my grammie's life and the world that she came from. Unbeknownst to me until recently my baby blessing spoke of my eagerness for genealogy work. Now knowing this I have been hungry to just eat up as much of it as I can with no regard to this weird longing to learn more and know more. It's been an adventure reading and typing up my great-grandmother's journals, seeing my grammie's photos and just living in their worlds and seeing them grow as I am now. Even though it was considered a job for me to be scanning the photos, I am so grateful that I didn't have a real job to keep me from it. I am a bit sorry that I am on the last binder of photos and letters, but there's always our own family photos to sift through and I'm more than happy to do it.

School wise- I'll be starting an Independent Study class this week which I am excited about. I love school and the idea of getting to learn and be studious and "smart" gets me giddy. Too bad I won't have a class to get ready for; no cute boys to study with. I think more than anything I am just grateful to finally have something to fill the empty hours with. To be productive. I know I say that a lot, but I have truly found that my feelings of happiness rely greatly on how productive and obedient I am being in my life. How studious and hard working I am. Being busy with school work till I'm bleeding it is fulfilling and I know that having a "routine" helps me prioritize my time a lot more. Which usually means that those most important things - scriptures and prayers - get done, and my whole self is a thousand times happier. I really do have a testimony of doing good things. They bring joy and happiness, and fulfillment. Fill your time with good things, be productive and work hard.

The Dormant Spirit

I don't really know how to upload a video so hopefully this works, but we watched this in combined Relief Society/Priesthood today and although my eyes weren't leaking like most of the females in the room, it really did inspire and comfort me. His words are amazing and I highly recommend finding his talk on BYU Speeches and reading it for yourself, "Unleashing the Dormant Spirit" by Elder Busche.