My two beauties

I finally got pictures of my two beauties (posted about them here). They're beautiful. I'm in love. I can't wait till I can get my hands on one of them and fix 'er up.

(Broken) Heart Day

Valentine's Day is not my favorite holiday. Which is why I love the book "The Unvalentine" by Sam Beeson. Read it, you'll love it. I'll still enjoy making Valentines this year with my sisters, but for all the other mushy, precious things, my feelings are a bit cynical:

Wednesday's Musings, 2 days late

Wednesday was an odd day. I can't really explain what was going on, all I know is that I was in the zone and life felt way too realistic to not notice some random things. Here are just a few of the sporadic thoughts that I had throughout my day:

I saw a car that reminded me of an ex-boyfriend. I didn't cry until I saw the way that the sun hit the snow-covered mountains...there are better things to cry about than old boyfriends.

I drove with the sunroof and the windows down and relished in the cold air. I missed summer.

I miss my music. I use to listen to music way too much, I was always plugged into my earphones or had my speakers on. My best friend now has my speakers and I feel like I'm missing out on something important if my ears are plugged. I was wrong, I'm going back to having a constant soundtrack in my life.

I realized my calling in life is to be a mom when I picked up my niece after her nap. I cried.

I had an epiphany about life: I am in control, I am in control of whether or not I am happy...yeah, took me 21 years to realize that.

I went hot tubbing with friends the other night and met a girl who was 18, that's when I realized that I'm old.

I'm happy, completely content. Peaceably happy.

Waiting is overrated. Boys still stink, but I'm not waiting around for them anymore.

Hiccups

Hiccups. That's all the drama with boys is, hiccups. There's nothing more serious about it, and you should be able to get rid of the problem by just drinking water. Hiccups. If we saw every challenge thrown at us (whether it's a science test or a stupid kid who can't seem to make up his mind about you) as hiccups then maybe they would seem less ominous and maybe we might understand how petty the problem really is and then we wouldn't stress incessantly about them. Hiccups. The joy with hiccups is that you can laugh about them, so why not laugh about your problems? Hiccups. Everyone gets them, so everyone can relate to you, hopefully, and not think less of you for all the drama in your life. Hiccups. Sure they cause a little pain while they last but once they're gone you feel so good afterwards that ahh...life just feels perfect. Hiccups. I hate them.

Man's best friend

I didn't have the best, uh, mid-afternoon today. But I did finally learn what it means when they say dog is man's best friend. I had just gotten off the phone with a friend and was feeling extremely overwhelmed and emotionally frustrated. I collapsed onto the couch in an overly dramatic heap and of course started to cry. That was when Fern and Josh's beagle Navy jumped up on to the couch next to me, and completely nosed her way into my lap. It was as if she knew that I was sad and needed comfort. Especially since the way she instantly forced her head into my lap gave me little time to decide whether I even wanted to snuggle up to someone. It also helped to give me perspective on my problems and to stop crying and take a deep breath.

That moment

You know that moment before getting into bed where your body is saying, "Ok, enough, let's sleep!" Where your mind has turned to mush and yet you can't stop thinking about half a billion things, or maybe just one teeny tiny thing like what could I possibly wear tomorrow. It's the moment where you just got home and grabbed a bowl of cereal, where you begin to reflect back on your day and start to think of what tomorrow brings. The moment where you pull out your scriptures, say your prayers, finish a chapter from the new novel you're reading, and then you realize...you're not tired at all. You can't stop thinking about what so-and-so said earlier, or what they did. Every gesture towards you gets analyzed, every stress is brought back into your mind, and everything that you must do or not do suddenly leaps into the forepart of your brain and gosh darn it! What's the point of even lying here anymore?!

You know that moment? Well I'm there.

Addie Bo Baddie

"Adeline, Adeline, my dear, precious Adeline." Now just imagine singing that over and over again while baby Addie is crying in the back seat...

Watching Addie has been a lot of fun! I watch her Monday-Friday noon until 6pm. We're finally starting to get into a regular routine, although some days it gets a little jumbled up depending on her mood or everyone's schedules. I love being able to get away from my apartment and campus and it is unbelievably nice to finally have someone who actually needs me! :) She's such a precious little doll, but holy cow I swear she is growing by the day! She's gotten so big and she babbles like crazy every day. She does this new thing where she says, "Nay, nay, nay" a whole bunch and I like to believe she's saying Navy.

I'm so glad I was able to watch her this semester. I'm taking two classes online which helps free up my schedule a lot. I'm also taking two other classes, one on MWF mornings and the other TTH nights. I haven't fallen asleep in my night class yet, amazing I know, I think it's because I tell myself each class that I need to learn something new that day, and then I spend the rest of the hour searching for something in the class discussion that I didn't already know. I try to get some homework done while Addie sleeps but I usually end up tidying up or slipping in a little shuteye myself (actually I've only done that once and that was because she finally took a nap longer than 45 minutes yesterday).