Locked Out

What do you do when you're locked out of your apartment:

1. When you realize you don't have your key(s) bang on the door, ring the bell and pray your roommate isn't in the shower (that has happened before, trust me, I know).
   
2. Try carding your door. It's exactly what it sounds like, get an ID, credit card, etc. Something that you don't use too much, a Blockbuster card is a little too flimsy but at least you won't kill your debit card or the such. Jiggle it into the space where your door handle goes into the door post, if you do it right you should be able to slip your card in between the two allowing you to push the door in. I've tried many times to accomplish this, each one ending in failure. If you personally can't get it, call a guy, they seem to be better at this then girls. I honestly would like to know why... If, however, your apartment was just re-keyed that week then it will be impossible to card yourself in. The space will be much too small and everything will be too tight to move, even after several of you try.
   
3. Laugh as you double check every inch of your bag, making sure that you really don't have your key(s).
4. Call all your roommates to see when they get home. You will now discover that you only have two out of three of your roommates' phone numbers, but that's ok, no one is going to pick up anyway because 1) they are all in class or 2) they are working. No worries!
   
5. Stick your headphones back in and plop yourself onto the floor in front of your door, or the porch or some comfy, concrete area. Pull out something to entertain yourself with.
6. Become bitter that you didn't pack your laptop that morning, or a book, or anything else you needed for your classes, except a notebook and a pen and of course chapstick (you can think of chapstick every morning but somehow missed your keys?!?! Nice work!).
   
7. After the bitter stage has set in, stare dejectedly at the blank pages of the notebook and try to recall where in the world your key(s) could be.
8. Start panicking. You have now realized that you had taken your house key off of your chain because on your date last night you didn't want to be carrying a massive key chain with more chains than keys. But then remember that you decided against that and put the key back on and just took the dang junk with you and just left them in the car. Pause in your moment of panic and wonder if you really did reattach the key. If you decide yes then wonder horribly about whether or not it somehow, miraculously, possibly came off during this said date and is now on the floor of your date's car. It's ok though because he only lives in Bountiful (one hour away) and will be leaving any day now to return back to school in Rexburg.
9. Start panicking all over again.
10. Talk yourself out of a heart attack and brush it off. Start writing random things down in the notebook, maybe work on a story you are writing or even try to catch up on your journal. Be glad you packed a light jacket because it gets breezy in the stairwell.
    
11. Now that you have officially gone through all of these steps decide that you can be more productive with a computer and trudge all the way back to campus. Make sure your side bag is situated just perfectly so that it digs preciously into your shoulder and neck and rubs nicely against your hip. Make sure to walk crookedly, even after you have taken your bag off.
12. Collapse into a chair in the LRC, suddenly discover you have to kick it and leave for class. Walk out frustrated and enter class in a very fragile state.
13. Last but not least (oh, 13!) make sure to record your experience somewhere where the whole world can read it and desperately hope they all laugh about it so you don't feel too ridiculous.