Biggest Flaw

I wrote this a little bit ago, but finally felt compelled to shared it:

I once had a boy compliment me some time ago on my generosity and caring nature. My ability to always just do things for other people.

He said this while he was breaking up with me.

Was it still a compliment? Yes, because I realized that is who I am: I do things for other people. A lot. It’s my way of saying, “Hey, you’re important to me and I’m thinking of you.” Doesn't mean I want to marry you tomorrow. It just means that I care about you as a friend (maybe even more, but let me deal with that). But most people get confused by that, so I feel the need to clarify.

I throw myself head first into things. It’s just how I do it. I don’t know any other way. I can’t ask forgiveness or apologize because I don’t think it’s bad. In fact I think it’s commendable. I've found I have learned how to love deeply and how to hurt painfully. And I don’t care about the risks; it’s worth it. Always is. You may break my heart and I expect nothing but sorrow and frustration from that for a time, but at least I felt something; deeply, strongly, passionately.

And that is one of the most important things in living- to experience pain and relief. And immense, passionate joy.