Tonight Tara and I attempted to have a sleepover in our front room. We dragged our mattresses out and everything only to discover that the movie we had hopes of watching was possessed and refused to cooperate in any of our 3 computers and our DVD player. So we ran out to a Redbox, stopped by Smith's (well drove by because there was a major drug bust or someone found a bomb because there were a dozen cop cars in the parking lot and the whole place was sectioned off) and finally got home to watch Fame.
I liked it. A bit depressing in some parts but on the whole... really inspiring. In an odd way. I sometimes desperately wish that I could get up on a stage and just belt some beautiful song out and wow everyone. Or that any time I got onto the piano I could play a little Bach or Chopin. Wonderfully enough that people would close their eyes the same way I do when my little sisters get on their violins and cello. I am now determined to get back to practicing the piano more often. This will become much easier when I move into my new place in the fall which will have a piano :) And when I have the time I would love to take voice lessons. That will definitely be something I need to wait on but I am determined to do it.
Aside from all of that, I just want to do something I love with my life. I want to write. It's scary sometimes to think about how writing can't really support a family, let alone one person. And how once I start having a family I won't really have time to sit and write amidst all the things that comes with being a parent and a wife. But I determined to succeed, to find those precious moments where my mind wanders into far off places and damsels in distress are saved and the hero always gets the girl (well... maybe).
Just because becoming an author is a long and hard road doesn't dissuade me from wanting to at least try. I really have no idea why I'm still typing. It's kind of late and my thoughts are more than just sporadic, they're hopeless. They've become paper butterflies fluttering off my page, flitting away into the night sky to become stars up in the heavens of dreams. Good night
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